Navigating Through Supervised Visitations
Where to Start – What to Consider
Children are not divorcing either parent; they love their extended families and they do not want to be used as pawns in this money-making divorce industry.
What is the Purpose of Supervised Visitations?
To assure that a child can have safe contact with an absent parent without having to be put in the middle of the parents’ conflicts or other problems.
How Do I Make The Service Meet My Needs?
Be sure to bring a copy of the court order to your Intake Interview with the professional supervisor to determine if all the conditions can be met. Ask about the provider’s qualifications – make sure he/she has the background necessary to provide the level of supervision you need.
Why not use a friend or relative rather than a professional service?
Many well-meaning friends and relatives will agree to provide the service but will quickly tire of the regular commitment and/or being in the middle of your conflicts. It is difficult for friends and relatives to restrain from taking sides. Once neutrality is lost, then the credibility of the “supervisor” will come into question and much of the feeling of security and safety will be gone.
When you are considering the path you are about to embark on, for the benefit of your children, please read the article entitled, The Relationship of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Adult Health: Turning Gold into Lead.
Helpful Definitions (National Parents’ Organization)
Best Interest of the Child: This phrase is ubiquitous in family law but, until the recent consensus in child development research, has had no fixed or identifiable meaning. This has previously been evidenced by the fact that different family courts, presented with the same facts, will make greatly different judgments concerning the alleged best interest of the child. Looking ahead, however, we can now say that shared parenting after divorce or separation by fit parents serves the best interest of children in most cases.
Frequent and Continuing Contact: This phrase occurs frequently in family law. It expresses an intention of the court regarding contact between a child and each of its parents. Unfortunately, it has no identifiable meaning. In some cases, contact as little as one day per month between a parent and child, or one week during the summer, has been held to satisfy a requirement for “frequent and continuing contact”.
Parental Equality: Treatment of the parents as equals in terms of being entitled to equal rights and responsibilities, regardless of gender, as it relates to raising their children.
Resources
Dr. Amy J. L. Baker, Ph.D. Dr. Baker is a nationally recognized expert in parent-child relationships, especially children of divorce, parental alienation syndrome, and the emotional abuse of children. I highly recommend her for information and consulting when needed.
>> Dr. Baker’s Website